They say you can't please all of the people all of the time, and how true it is!
Blinkered attitudes and the burning of witches still abound in rural journalism.
The "Challenge Sandra" column was an extremely short-lived weekly supposed "have a go" article written by Star reporter Sandra Waldron, a woman who - as we found out - is not actually prepared to "have a go".
Her previous week's "challenge" was being the mother of a Tamagotchi cyber-pet for a day, and the subsequent report elicited such gems as "I was utterly relieved when Tammy finally went to sleep", "Totally exhausted, I slumped into the chair", and "But as I drifted off to sleep, my last thoughts were of what time Tammy would wake in the morning and what she would like to eat". Sadly, a genuine death-defying challenge, such as learning to use a snorkel, scared her off before she had even started. "I think I'll just watch" was the nearest Ms Waldron got to rising to the challenge of Octopush.
Ms Waldron's article follows: the grammar and punctuation are the reporter's own, bracketed pieces are mine.
"Lying down in a pool full of men (and women) wearing green flippers, tight swimming trunks and face masks was how I spent my Monday evening.
The whole concept of playing Octopush, a form of underwater hockey, sounded rather strange ... and it is. A frogman might feel quite at home but I felt distinctly like a fish out of water.
I have to confess that an invitation to join the Octopush Club at Chesham Leisure Centre, in White Hill, had been in my pending tray for several weeks (19) before I dared to dip my toes into the water. My initial excuse to The Star's editor for not attending was that members of the public would be too traumatised by my pale wintery skin. However, after recently spending two weeks basking in the Turkish sunshine I no longer had an excuse.
So it was on with the snorkel and Miss Pushy Galore, as I was nicknamed by my colleagues (entirely untrue!), flipped into action (also untrue - Ms Waldron made no attempt to come near the puck).
Toby, one of the organisers of this activity, explained that the group splits into two teams positioning themselves at either end of the pool. When Chief Flipper, as I named him, shouts "Go" everyone swims frantically, brandishing sticks, which look remarkably like meat cleavers, towards a lead puck positioned on the pool floor. The aim is to dive down and push the puck along the bottom and in to one of the two underwater goals.
The action happened really quickly but being underwater gave it that sense of unreality. The players swooped and contorted their bodies into all sorts of positions in order to swipe (!) at the puck. They looked like piranhas going in for the kill.
Meanwhile, up towards (on) the surface (and in the far corner of the pool) I was having a whale of a time. I was discovering that if I tried to talk with my snorkel on I sounded just like Darth Vader in Star Wars.
As for my Turkish tan - after an hour of turning crinkly in the water and a brisk rub down with a towel - it's almost disappeared. Ughh.
If you would like to comment to The Star - the South Bucks Star, that is - email the
editor, Steve Cohen. Alternatively,
fax the paper on 01494 534015.
Would anyone reading the above article please note that Toby has since retired from
Chesham Octopush Club due to other commitments. For details of current club contacts
please see the 
main page.
My own reply follows, exactly as printed in the following week's letters page. A couple
of paragraphs from my original letter didn't make it into print, but I was quite surprised
that they did print as much as they did. I take my hat off to them for being able to admit
that they were in the wrong.
"Positive or objective press coverage is always welcomed by any club, but Sandra
Waldron's report on Chesham Octopush Club's weekly session was anything but objective, and
amounted to little more than "I didn't like it, therefore it's not worth doing".
She admitted at the start of the session that she had never previously used a snorkel, but
instead of rising to the challenge - presumably the reason for which the column was
devised - she announced from the outset that she would just watch, and made no subsequent
attempt to take part in the game.
Octopush is an aerobic sport - it doesn't build muscle, yet it is extremely good for building and maintaining physical fitness.
We live in a free country, and who is to say that Ms Waldron is not entitled to sneer at those who play Underwater Hockey, if that is her choice. However, a damning article such as this will undoubtedly put off many rather more positive-minded people who might otherwise have been tempted to give it a go.
It is perhaps indicative of the type of "challenge" undertaken by this column that the previous week's challenge - that of being the mother of a Tamagotchi cyber-pet for a day - was assigned more than twice the number of column inches that were given to the article about Octopush. However, this quarter-page article would have been more than enough space in which to say that the sport has been around for more than forty years, that the game can be played equally well by both men and women and that your reporter was but one of three women in the pool last Monday, that it features every bit as much strategy as any other team game, that that there are mixed clubs in Slough and Watford as well as in Chesham, that the nearest all-female club is a mere half-hour's drive away in Acton, West London, and more besides. Nevertheless, Ms Waldron chose to use this space to witter on about "Miss Pushy Galore" (her own invention), "Chief Flipper" and "sounding like Darth Vader in Star Wars", comments which are hardly a credit to either reporter or subject.
If the Star is to persist with its "Challenge" feature, can I perhaps
suggest that the reins of the column be passed to someone whose priorities lie more
towards actually taking on these challenges than worrying about what effect these
activities might have on her hair or make-up."
Despite the Star effectively back-pedalling over its report of the previous week, it
would have been better to have got it right in the first place. Fortunately, not all
members of the press are out for cheap sensationalism at the expense of anybody they can
lay their hands. For a fair and objective review of Octopush by Chesham's other local
newspaper, the Bucks Examiner, less than a month prior to the Waldron review, please see
our Press Reports page.