The (Real) Rules of Octopush

1. A game played by a variable number of players. Ideally equal numbers on each side - but not always.
2. The use of masks and snorkel is advantageous.
3. The removal of masks and fins by the opposition is gamesmanship (or good play by your own side).
4. Gloves don't have to be worn - but fingers don't always remain intact either.
5. The ability to breathe underwater is frowned upon as unnatural but mostly unfair, especially by the other lot.
6. Negative buoyancy in conjunction with this makes you a shark rather than a human. There are laws about this sort of thing!
7. Playing downhill is easier, so the time to swap ends is just before having to get out of the pool.
8. The puck stays in contact with the pool bottom at all times. This is even more true when you "accidentally" stand on it when coming up for air until your team mate arrives.
9. Wearing wet boots is unusual but there aren't any rules against it. I cannot imagine a use for them except... (see above)
10. No one ever picks up the puck (and admits to it).
11. The game is over when one side finally gets bored of scoring all the time (see Dave - he'll explain).
12. If your pusher splits in two, then advantage should be played with one half on each hand.
13. Gentlemen come last.
14. An unfair advantage of starting with the puck nearer to you so you can control it is balanced by the equally unfair advantage of not having to move it so far to score.
15. The settling of old scores or grudges is not infrequent.
16. Never play on the same side as your partner - or against them - you really can't win with this one!
17. Is only played by REAL divers - see Beachcomber...

Compiled by James Anderson

Appeared originally in the Lothian Divers Times Volume 2 Issue 2