Chris Davey - Centre / Back (Chesham)
"I'll get some of this - it doesn't look like any food group I recognise"
In the supermarket, when told that Andrew wouldn't eat the local food: "I'm not buying English food - he can eat weird shit or starve!"
"Pingu!"
"What about beer?"
"But what about beer?"

Ed Eilerts de Haan - Left Wing / Left Forward (Chesham / Slough)
"I do numbers for a living, I don't want to do it for my shoe size"
"I thought that's what *women* were for"
"Cunning! / Cunningly!"
To Sara: "That rucksack's bigger than you are!"
Spliff-roller extraordinaire!
"Is anyone any good at this, because I'm going to be absolutely crap". And he was!

Helen Field - Left Wing (Dunstable)
"I'll shut up now and get off my soapbox"
"Pokey bits of every shape and size" ("Why do men get turned on by this stuff?")
"Bless!"
"Rude!"
From Martin R: "deceptively sweet - well, I was deceived anyway"
About Ed: "Stop him, he's carrying rabies!"
"White windmills, clogs, plaited hair and I'm a happy girl". Martin F, however, was rather more demanding . . .

Martin Fisher - Right Forward (Farnham & Guildford Youth)
Following Helen's quote: "White windmills, clogs, plaits and big tits!"
"Bacardi!" Wasn't that Martin R's quote in Orkney?
"Hey, a massage parlour - were those chains?"
"So, have you had any major operations recently?"
"I love the smell of kerosene"
"Oh noooo, everyone's looking at me..."

Sara Grenside - Right Forward (Chesham / London Ladies)
"If I don't get some soon, I will fall over!"
"Mum!"
"Auntie Sara!"
From Mark: "Put the seat down this time!"
The "vodka lady": when there's no orange juice, she improvises with vodka and orange yoghurt!

Liz Newton - Back (Spectrum Angels)
"So what does he know about coffee shops, he only drinks half-pints?"
"That's too small" (in a certain shop)
"We haven't started hiding brie in other people's cars yet!"
"Bendy straws are obviously cheap and tacky - the coffee shop guy was obviously making a fashion statement"
"Can I have my own 6' 8" Dutchman to take home please?"
"I've got a degree, not a frontal lobotomy!"

Martin Reed - Captain & Spare Part (Chesham)
"C'mon Liz, get yer knickers off"
Head skinny-dipper
"Anyone for a banana?" Liz declined, preferring to hold off and buy her own...
Head dawdler

Rob Shipley - Back / Right Wing (Chesham)
From Mark, his flatmate: "He looks like Colin Montgomerie, only fatter"
"These trains keep overshooting"
"Put the dooberry in the hole"

Mark Sullivan - Left Forward (Chesham)
To Sara: "I didn't say that, you're making it up!"
"They've probably arrested Rob for looking like Colin Montgomerie"
About Martin R: "Martin, slow down, you're in danger of not being last!"
"I don't need my glasses, but I can't see"
"Ben Elton's alter-ego"
"It was my first time, but it was boring!". Doesn't everyone say that?

Andrew Stillwell - Right Wing/Centre/Back and everyone else's position (Southsea)
"I bet I can buy another pint" when he was too drunk to even stand!
"I thought we should have changed formation two games ago". Hmmm, thanks for sharing that with us...
Spray-on trunks man
"But I had to do it all by myself - no one else was down there"