Saturday 21st February 1998

8.30am Breakfast was a serviceable combination of bread, cheese and ham, washed down with an excellent drink that was similar to hot Ribena, and most went back for more. We then took a gentle wander down to the pool, which was absolutely magnificent, fully justifying its selection for the 1999 European Championships.

Douglas, Martin R (Captain), Ed, Andrew, Keith, Martin F, Martin H
Anna, Sara, Liz

10am The British team was the first on the poolside, in splendid purple costumes ("none of this Speedo crap", to quote Liz). We were, however, missing our captain, who had realized that had only about a dozen shots left on his underwater camera, and didn't have any spare film, so had dashed off into the streets of Kranj - despite not knowing a single word of the language - in the hope of finding a film. Fortunately, he returned, film in hand, just in time for the captains' meeting, where the British team paid its entry fee for the Slovenian tournament in Dutch Guilders. Don't ask . . .

11.00 The tournament got underway, even though Chesham's first game was not until an hour and a quarter later. We clinched a 3-2 victory in a very closely-fought game against Jezero Velenje, another Slovenian team, and then "went through a crap stage" (another Liz quote). In all fairness, though, the 6-0 defeat we received in our second game was at the hands of Norik sub 1, the eventual winners of the tournament.

Game 3 - the TDC against URS2, Dejan's team - saw "the most nightmarish reffing session on earth", and this did cause considerable unsettlement in the Chesham camp, although we pulled through to take the game 2-0. We definitely improved with age, however, and were really starting to gell by our fourth game, where everything connected, and we found ourselves playing as a proper team for the first time. A 4-0 victory over UISP Bologna from Italy saw us go into the final stages in second place in our group, behind Norik sub 1 and ahead of Jezero Velenje.

While all of this was going on, Martin R and Sara - who had both brought spare TDC shirts with the intention of swapping them for shirts of other clubs - were spending their free moments chasing other players around the poolside whenever either of them spotted a shirt that they hadn't yet managed to acquire. It was a close-run thing, but Martin just pipped Sara 3-2.

The final stages of the tournament involved the top three teams in each of the two groups playing the top three teams from the other group. Of these three games we won one and lost two, which put us in a respectable fourth place, an excellent result for a team that had only met at the airport the previous morning. See the "" section for a full set of results.

Saturday night - God what a night! Sausages, sauerkraut and potatoes for dinner, washed down with a bottle of Union Pivo - very satisfying! Not so satisfying for Anna though - as a vegetarian, dinner for her consisted of a plate of potatoes.  :-(

Martin H introduced the locals to the age-old custom of snorkelling a pint upside down - a competition duly won by our captain. Europe will never be the same again!

There then followed a surreal wander around the nightlife of Kranj - no hallucinogens required! It seemed we had arrived in the middle of National Masquerade Week, and while we had already noticed a number of people wandering around in fancy dress during the day, it was under the cover of darkness that the costumes really came out. Mummies, skiers, clowns, witches, Central American dictators, Beavis and Butthead, and aliens of various denominations - they were all there!

We thought you were just cartoon characters!		No man, dead or alive, can keep his hands off Anna

We wandered around the town from bar to bar, frequently bumping into the Italians who had adopted Andrew - or "Giorgio", as he was by then known - as soulmate and blood brother. At one point we went into a traditional-looking bar halfway up the High Street, while trying to decide on our next port of call. The gatekeeper was a "fat, female bisexual in a clown's outfit" who seemed intent on accosting everyone who walked through the door. On catching sight of Doug she walked straight up to him and put her hand straight down the front of his trousers! We reckon Doug must have been too drunk to notice, but either way he certainly didn't object. He claims to this day that he doesn't remember the incident, but we reckon he's just saying that to appease Sally!

Sara, Martin R, Dejan and Liz out on the town

Eventually our wanderings took us to an underground bar where Martin R and Martin H proceeded to show the locals that only an Englishman can do a proper rendition of "The Full Monty". Martin F jumped in with both feet and did a good job in strengthening Anglo-Slovenian relations with the local female population; Martin H made a start on the same, but was persuaded that Marsellus Wallis' wife (remember "Pulp Fiction"?) was not a good choice of target, so we swiftly moved on. Quote from one of our number: "What I can remember was great. Who was Margaret?"

"The Full Monty", by two of the three M's. Enter your "Adult Check" ID to see the rest . . .

At about 4 o'clock in the morning we eventually made our way back to our lodgings, but not before Martin F had been abducted by aliens (see "" below). Martin H had particular difficulty with the journey back; conservative estimates say that his sense of direction went at the second bar, but some might say that it didn't last even that long.