Douglas Cuthill - Wing (Chesham)
"I like it on the floor"
"That (empty) bottle of whisky was supposed to have been a birthday present!"
(From Liz) "You're scary on the phone - you're so abrupt". However, that was before she met Keith . . .
Always manages to find a gullible someone to share a two-person meal. This time it was our captain who should have known better.
"Never share a house with this man - you don't know what will happen to your room, your belongings, your toothbrush . . ."

Ed Eilerts de Haan - Centre (Chesham / Slough)
The indefatigable duck-punting champion.
"Can I have the recipe for napalm again?"
"I don't understand what the hell is going on!"
The scent of marajuana exuding from the Serbs' room brought back memories to Ed of his University years, and brought out stories of cats tripping on LSD and a rabbit called "Bonkers" who lived on nothing but cannabis, and therefore had no chance *whatsoever* of saving himself from a marauding pit bull terrier that was determined to eat him.

Martin Fisher - Left Wing/Forward (Farnham & Guildford Youth)
"Great hat, but you look like Deputy Dawg". Not this particular hat, of course.
"Leave the teddy bear out of this!"
Would like to say that his favourite pastime is being pursued by young girls, but instead spends most of his time consuming large quantities of alcohol!!

Sara Grenside - Forward (Chesham / London Ladies)
"Don't make me laugh, I'll crack a rib." That's two ribs so far . . .
"Wherever I lay my hat is my home"
"Vodka-drinking Octopusher extraordinaire, with balls of solid rock! (metaphorically, of course, not encased in a Marmite jar . . .)"
Sara wasn't on her finest form at the tournament, because her cracked ribs hadn't finished knitting. Strange, we thought she was wholly knitted anyway . . .

Martin Huddleston - Wing (Farnham & Guildford)
"What about the woman with the feather boa?"
"If you're going to chat up anyone during National Masquerade Night, Marsellus Wallis' wife is not the smartest choice!"
It can safely be said that Martin had a damn good weekend, but whether he remembers much of it is another matter: when he says he gets legless he means it!
"As the oldest member of the team, Martin led the way with the drinking - it was just that he then needed showing the way home!"

Liz Newton - Back (Farnham & Guildford Youth / Spectrum Angels)
"Five times a night and I'm happy"
"4.30am, and you were just talking to Dejan?"
"Brilliant as always!" (and modest too)
"Can we play the next game without refs please? I haven't used my pushers with the nails in yet."
The only natural defender in the team, Liz was as usual invincible in the water, displaying an astounding range of defensive skills. With a dozen lecherous Italians in hot pursuit at the street partying afterwards, she needed them all!

Martin Reed - Right Forward & Captain (Chesham / Slough)
"Martino!"
"That's team whisky, isn't it?"
"Tom Jones, eat your heart out!"
"If I had any money I wouldn't need you lot!" Martin's still trying to work that one out . . .
Nicknamed "Conan" due to being impervious to the cold; half a litre of whisky made him impervious to everything else!
"As a captain he's an enigma, as a drinker unsurpassed (although we're trying to keep up)!"

Andrew Stillwell - Right Forward / Centre (Southampton)
"Giorgio!"
"Does anyone want a cheese and tomato roll?"
"I did this blinding run, leaving four defenders in my wake. Whoa!" Yeah, yeah, yeah . . .
"The most annoying centre-mid who ever played back!"
Andrew takes pickyness to new heights; what was he doing with all those Italians, and why was he sooo tired?

Keith Taylor - Wing (ex-Chesham)
"After a good seeing-to, who knows what potential this man could have?" Is that Liz's handwriting?
"So how much is this going to cost me?"
"How many wickie-wickies are there to the pound?"
"Keith, with scientific logic, can cut through any opposition - in conversation, as well as during an Octopush match." Sara reckons that's due to his adopted "blunt northern style", but actually he's always been able to do that.

Anna Trivett - Left Forward (Chesham / Spectrum Angels)
"So OK, I'm a vegetarian, but could you eat your pet pig?" However, these noble words didn't stop the Italians from trying to offer pork aplenty . . .
"Wales eat your heart out" (that's sheep as well)!
She gallantly fought off the Italians with the words "I must be good". The undead, though, were more persistent . . .
Her outstanding natural buoyancy aids never prevent her from being down on the bottom when she's needed.